Phantom's "Blight Corpse Necromancy": A Gargantuan Overture to Desolation
A truly putrid commemoration of the ten years since "Divine Necromancy" was released and traumatized the world into unholy submission to the dark masters of Phantom horror...
Ladies and gentletards, brace yourselves for a dissection of the auditory malevolence that the plebeians dare to call "music." Phantom, the blasphemous architects of cacophonous despair, have once again thrust their abhorrent creation upon the unsuspecting masses, entitled "Blight Corpse Necromancy." Prepare for a most disdainful encounter with their pitiable attempt to harness the eldritch forces of the abyss.
The Pitiful Mortals Known as Phantom
Phantom, a band that has clawed its way out of the putrid underbelly of obscurity, now attempts to validate its existence with this latest affront to the very concept of artistry. What horrors have they concocted this time? What pitiable, wretched sounds will they thrust upon the eardrums of the unfortunate?
A Dismal Decade of Devastation
A decade of relentless mediocrity, supposedly commemorated by this release, casts a shadow upon the world of music. Their so-called "masterpiece," "Divine Necromancy," unleashed a slew of uninspired tracks upon the world, dragging listeners down a desolate path to boredom and disappointment. What audacity to celebrate this dreary anniversary!
A Desolate Eulogy
Now, what abysmal concoction do they proffer with "Blight Corpse Necromancy"? We can only imagine it will be a continued exercise in tedium and despondency, with no intention other than to drain the life from anyone foolish enough to lend an ear.
The Lamentable Release Date
The decision to release this audible atrocity on the eve of Halloween is a blatant attempt to capitalize on a holiday steeped in superficial horrors. Phantom, a band whose artistry rivals that of a wet sponge, attempts to feed off the spectral energy of a night when true darkness descends.
Phantom's Abominable Legacy
The influence of Phantom within the metal scene is minimal at best, and it is with no great surprise that they remain obscured in the shadows. Their endeavors are an affront to all that is pure in the realm of music. "Blight Corpse Necromancy" is unlikely to ascend above the mire of forgettable releases littering the abyss.
A Ritual of Auditory Sacrilege
As we begrudgingly acknowledge the impending release of "Blight Corpse Necromancy," one cannot help but lament the potential waste of precious minutes of life that could be spent on genuinely meaningful endeavors. The darkness Phantom purports to wield is but a charade, an illusion that shall ultimately dissipate, leaving only the wretched emptiness of a musical void.
On October 31, 2023, "Blight Corpse Necromancy" will be unleashed upon the undeserving world. Brace yourselves, for it is bound to be a tiresome and grotesque spectacle. The true horrors lie not within the supernatural themes they peddle but in the mirthless realization that we must endure another farcical chapter in the pitiful history of Phantom's sonic debauchery. We look forward to its passing and the hope of an eventual cessation to their lackluster endeavors.
I don't have a sister, and isn't Phantom a one man band lol?